Monster Parents - the South Korean way

There is a world wide boom on the so-called K-pop culture say Psy's Guinness-World-Record-breaking popularity and their outstanding electronics especially the success of Samsung products, the world is now paying attention to Korea.  However, not many would know that behind their fame and glamour, the bitterness each and every Korean need to face at least once in their life time - the University Entrance Examinations.

Before I get into the topic, I would like to share a few videos and pics about stress in Korea...

1) the "High Expectations Asian Father"video - video made of South Korean actor Jeon Mu-Song's image, a popular actor who often play the father's roles on TV dramas, is a sample of stereotypes about Asian parents' desperation to excel their children in academic fields.  Here is a sample of such video:

2) A video showing the importance as well as the stress faced by high school students in Korea, on exam days - parents commonly go to work late, cities become quiet and tensed, students moral high and breath-taking atmosphere, just to make sure everything goes great on exam days:

3) Pictures of parents praying for their children's success in the exams:

We all know Samsung, Hyundai, LG.  But what we do not know is the people in the companies.  Or I should say, we do not know how Koreans get into these companies.  They are popular, yes, but unfortunately, they are the very few companies in Korea that is supporting the popularity of the country in the world (putting aside their entertainment industry).  In other words, being able to get into the companies is literally everything for Koreans.  What gets them into the companies?  Good universities.  And there are only less than 10 universities that can "almost" guarantee a place in these companies.  If you fail to get into one of those, it is believed that he/she is stuck in life ever since.  And What gets them into the companies?  Yes, it is the University Entrance Examinations.

This simple fact has already summed up why there are monster parents in Korea - both economically and socially - or I should say, they "almost" have no choice but to become monster parents, for that seems to be the only way for the family to climb to the upper tier in the society.  It is so important that a poll result showed that 100% of Korean parents want their children to go to university.

And what comes next below in the ladder?  It is cram schools, or "hagwons" in Korean, which parents, being the driving force for their children's success, will make sure that their kids are all well covered.  Not all the students want to take cram classes at night - but under such competitive environment, the parents will not let that happen as they know kids from other families are all taking them.  Their kids cannot be behind or disadvantaged - so it is not purely by choice or need to study at cram school.  It is almost, a tradition.  Statistics show that an average family spends 16% of their income annually on cram schools, which is equivalent to 2% of the Korean national GDP.  This is how serious this battle is, not only for the students, but also their parents.

A day for students in the exam year is fairly simple - school, study, sleep.  Class starts from 7am till 4pm, then followed by cram school and self study till 10pm or 2am, and few hours of sleep and it all starts again.  The parents will help them to construct their timetable to make sure every moment is utilized for study, and teachers will do the same at school.  Parents will also design the best food with highest level of nutrients to ensure their kids are always in healthy and intelligent conditions.  Stress, anxiety is obviously great, and it keeps repeating itself for the 365 days.

As a result, survey shows a fifth of Korean secondary school students claimed that they felt tempted to commit suicide.  On average 200 actually do so each year, successfully.  The stress and anxiety maximize on the exam day - below is an abstract of the seriousness of the day, as reports from "eatyourkimchi.com" describes:

"The day before the exam, the schools are emptied of all material, and all reflective surfaces are covered in the classrooms to prevent cheating. Students must bring their own lunches that day, because the school cafeteria doesn't want to be blamed if the food makes a student feel sick and do poorly. No one, including the teachers, can go in or out of the school that day. No food delivery, no leaving to get food...  But some things are a bit too extreme. Teachers can’t wear perfume or wear clothing that might distract the students from their test. Supervising teachers must remain in one place for the whole exam; if you walk around too much to check for cheating, a student might complain that it distracted them. If a student is sick, other students can complain on or blame the sick student for distracting them."

This story proves a few things.  It is the social and economical issues that "encourage" authoritarian parenting in Asian owing to its academically dependent society structure.  The society response with the existence of monster parents, which is demanded by the circumstances.  But unfortunately, they become one of the key elements in mounting the stress and anxiety level of not only the students, but also the parents and teachers.  This is surely a cautious sign for the counties, but ironically, this is also one of the factors that contributes to the success of these countries.

So what is right?  What is wrong?  Is it the ideal way of parenting?  Or it is just the way life is for the many Asian countries?  This is worth thinking.


Reference:

Leonm, E. (2010). High Expectations Asian Father. Know Your Meme.  Retrieved December 4, 2012, from http://www.knowyourmeme.com/memes/high-expectations-asian-father#fn21

Simon and Martina. (2010, November 19). Teaching in Korea: Korean Exam Day. Eat Your Kimchi. Retrived December 4, 2012 from http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/korean-exam-day/

The Economist Newspaper Limited.　(2011, December 30). South Korea: the one-shot society. The Economist, 401, 105-110.