Monday 17 December 2012

Parenting and Anxiety

So what do all these have to do with anxiety?

Teachers

 

Well, it is obvious that such acts mounts the pressure, stress and anxiety level of the teachers - and they role in society now is not only to teach but babysit kids.  They now not only need to handle textbooks but also hostile parents and irresponsible kids.

Parents


Next, the parents are always in anxious and cautious mode, as on top of the normal routine work they are doing, they have to plan ahead everything for their kids, take care of every small parts in their lives to make sure that nothing can harm them, and ensure they have not missed anything that other kids are doing so that their kids are always on track and in front of others.  They may feel even more stressed on exam days and more anxious about the results than their kids, and such pressure last from kindergarten till university.

The Kids

How about the kids?  At this point of time, they may not feel much anxiety, but it all begins when they start to grow up.  Unluckily, being kids of monster parents have resulted in their poor mental health.  They will start feeling the stress when they start failing to reach the high hopes and expectations of their parents while academic stress arises.  A anxiety spiral will then be formed when stress grows as school work becomes more and more difficult and the social responsibilities and burden becomes more and more heavy.  This in worst case may trigger suicidal ideations.

Just a few figures sharing (thanks to Karen!), of a poll held in Sepetember in Hong Kong, of the 300 students being interviewed, 49% experienced anxiety, 42% admitting their reliance on their parents, 33% felt their lack of abililities in taking care of themselves and 31% expressed difficulties in decision making and chose escaping as solution.  The numbers surely speak it all - and this is a classic display on the outcomes of Helicopter/Monster parenting.  This hints that almost half of Hong Kong kids may be experience anxiety from school work, and this is indeed a serious social problem.

This below flow chart is a good summary of and helps to explain the flow of anxiety to the kids, brought by Monster Parenting:


This chart even suggested that the spiral continues once the originally kids become parents on their own, they would not want their kids to repeat they failure in lives and hence have more control over their kids by becoming Helicopter & Monster parents themselves.

Is this possible?  I am not too sure but there are surely chances.  The worst of all is the level of stress and anxiety multiples from generation to generation, and as such trend expands further out, this will become an extremely serious social issue.

So just a small reminder to all parents, especially existing or potential monster/helicopter parents - know about the facts and figures, find out the best parenting style that suits your family the most (not only your dreams on your kids but most importantly, their dreams), match up your expectations with reality and your kids abilities and be a wise mum and dad.  You are in charge of this Anxiety spiral and it is for your to decide.

Lastly, let me share with you a funny little comic on "good" parenting:


Good luck.
 

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